Identity and Reality and other rambling

Identity and Reality.  Our Sense of Reality and identity are as permanent as waves on the ocean.  We think that our self identity is different from everyone else’s, as each wave is different from each other wave, but we all are just drops in the same ocean with brief delusions of being waves before breaking onto the beach.  Our problem is that we need an identity to anchor us into some figment of our reality.  I am a longhaired jobless computer geek without a girlfriend.  Suddenly the computer is gone, or we get a girlfriend, and that identity dissipates.   We adapt.  We adapt to being fired and move on and learn to deal with a new identify.  Some people are so trapped in their self identify that they become lost when they are no longer who they once were.  This is why we should not encase ourselves in false shells of self-identification.  Just because you think you are the cool one, does not mean everyone else see you that way.  Just because you think you are a loser, does not mean everyone else sees you as one.  Just because. . .

                There is another problem with the inherent delusion of self identify.  We act the way we think we should in order to conform into behavior we think others see us as.  I am a good worker, so I should act like a good worker.  I should work hard, never be late, and help everyone.  Other people might see you as sucking up to the boss, trying to make others look bad, and you only help those you like.  Everyone has a different perspective of the person you are, shaped by their life experiences and own sense of identity.  There is not much you can do about the way others see you. First impressions can in prison you for better or worse.

We own four faces, the one we think we are, the one we want to be, the one others see us as, and our true face.  These four faces are in constant fluidity whether we realize or not.  I was a grandson with two fantastic loving grandmothers.  One lived down the road from me and I saw her often.  She helped make me the loving, funny, good man I try to be.   When she died that identity of loving grandson was destroyed and I was set adrift without one of my core identities.  As Hamlet said to be or not to be, that is the question. 

                If you want to be a good person, a healthy person, then be one.  Our identities are nothing more than actions, constantly changing actions.  Our repeated actions get us stuck in ruts so deep that they encase everything we are.  I am not a runner.  I cannot work out.  I am a good person so I can do no wrong.  I am a good student so I can never fail.  These ruts are real in the sense that if we repeatedly use the same neuron pathways every day, then we think a certain way, and it becomes a kin to obsessive-compulsive behaviour.  We have to force ourselves to think differently.     Of course, this is where the bullshit of the whole mid life crisis happens.  We should never allow ourselves to become so comfortable within the warm shell of who we think we that we are incapable of breaking out of it.  I am a loving boyfriend of a mother with three fantastic boys.  This is my identity right now, and I would not change it for anything, yet I try everyday to change that identity.  I try to be a better boyfriend.  I try to be a better role model.  More on this later. 

The Potential for Postive outcomes in life.

How does the human brain work?  How would I know?  I know because I like to read a lot about how we work, since I am going to be in this body for the rest of this life.  We live in a world of infinite impossible possibilities.  I will be using Wikipedia to help refresh my memory.  “A neuron (pronounced /ˈnjʊərɒn/ N(Y)OOR-on, also known as a neurone or nerve cell) is an electrically excitable cell that processes and transmits information by electrical and chemical signalling.” That is from Wikipedia and it sounds about right.  So what excites the cells?  The senses are exciting.  Your standing on a beach, you can feel the hot soft sand squishing your toes as you look out at the storm moving towards you off the sea.  You can smell the salt sea air, and the storms negatively charged ions in the air.  Different parts of your brain are responding to all of this, even that exciting fear of the storm.  We use Ions in our brains too, they move from one cell to another depending on how charged they are.   One of the cool things about out brain is that each neuron has an action potential, meaning chance plays a role in weather we do or think something.  If we are scared then the neurons linked together for screaming will quickly flash like blinking Christmas lights.  You drank too much coffee, had watched a scary movie, and have a jerk at work who likes to scare you, and then there is a good chance you will scream.  However, if you have been yelled at for an hour, you are tired, and relaxed then the chance of that same person scaring you is decreased because you do not feel as if you are in any danger.  The neuron cascade will not light up.

                The brain is full of potential for something to happen, but we are the ones who can control the chance of something happening.  We Create our own reality.  Negative thoughts physically decrease our very chances of making positive changes in our lives.   Professional Athletes exercise their brains every day.  Take an exceptionally good tennis player.  Before the match, they practice physically until their multitude of strategic movements happen as quick as they breathe.  The cascades for these connections in the brain are like a trail in the forest that is always being used.  Athletes also mediate on games, going through winning games repeatedly in their heads.  This creates connections that are more positive.  As far as your brain is concerned, there is little difference in the chemical chain reactions between winning a game, meditating about winning a game, or even watching a winning game.  Of course, nobody is perfect, they might lose a set, but they do not dwell on the last shot, they mentally move on to winning the next one.   

                A person who wants to get a better job has to work hard on thinking about getting one.  Sounds like common sense, but you really have to think positive thoughts and increase the chances of the outcome happening.  Dreaming about a better job well watching television is not going to do it.  More on this later.

We all feel alone in the world

We all feel alone in the world.  Some of us can go through an entire day without talking to someone.  We all need that connection.  Hold up your hands beside each other.  Now point your index fingers towards the other one, and then touch them.  Your brain does this funny, interesting thing, one finger is you, and the other finger is the one you are touching, even though they are part of the same body.  When we see a person, we experience them in much the same way; they are an “other,” someone that feels separate from us.  However, just like your fingers other people are not really other people, we are all part of the same body, which is life.  We all need to feel that connection.  With Face book, we are able to make that connection by making comments, or simply poking, letting the other person know we are aware of their existence.  Face book, like it or not, has become a validation of our individual existence.  I write my status therefore I am.  Maybe that is why it has become so popular.